By overriding medical advice they are producing a culture of Female Warriors. Insurance Companies have reduced the amount of time moms are given in the hospital after delivery from 14 days to 1-3 days. When I was born in the 1970's my mother was given about 14 days for a cesarean delivery and when I was giving birth to my daughters I was given about 3 days. After delivery I was told that I had to get up and walk around, have my belly pressed on in order for my uterus to contract many times, take care of my child, and monitor my child around the clock who had bilirubin. I had to make sure she stayed under ultraviolet lights and didn't take her mask off. All without little to no sleep. Thankfully, I was granted an additional day due to this but by the end of the hospital stay I was extremely exhausted, tearful, and still in pain. You see long time ago, newborn babies were taken to the hospital nursery and cared for by the attending nurses so that moms can recuperate after a major medical procedure. Now they are falsely guilted into being super warriors. While they are undergoing intense excruciating pain, they are expected to continue maintaining the status quo. In other words, moms are expected to keep on keeping on. Having a child is a traumatic experience and I was told by my trauma therapist that having a baby is equivalent to having every bone in your body broken. Imagine having every bone in your body broken. Now multiple that by how many children you have.
Minority women in America have a higher chance of dying during delivery. I was blessed to have an amazing team of doctors that literally went above and beyond and without them my daughters and I wouldn't be here today. After having each of my daughters I had to literally relearn how to function and care for myself in between caring for a newborn. I had to relearn how to care for myself and take care of my babies at the same time while keeping my home operating effectually as possible. And of course that didn't always happen because as I told everyone within earshot that I just had a baby and I need more time to regroup. "I will get back to you, but for now I need more time." "Just give me a year, give me time to breathe."
In full honesty it's been over a year and I am now just beginning to have a sense of normalcy. When I think of the reasons why people are having less kids in America I have to say that if women are expected to do most of the emotional heavy lifting and aren't able to fully and completely recover it can't be that hard to figure out.
Insurance companies and our leaders can't assume that patients have a support system at home to help care for mom and baby. This was clearly evident during the covid crisis that family members were unable to travel to assist and most moms found themselves recovering with a newborn and other children alone. This problem has been a longstanding issue before covid. In our western society families are no longer fiscally able to live near their parents and extended families and so women carry the overwhelming burden of making our society run and that is unfair especially when insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies are allow to bale out. When fathers are given parental leave but are often intimidated in not using it, that leaves moms holding the bag alone day in and day out. As a former educator I was often guilted in doing things for the good of the children. It wasn't until I left education that I learned the true meaning of a healthy work life balance and how it applies to everyone except the ones carrying the burden of our society. We can't do it alone we need our leaders, our friends, our spouses, and yes our insurance companies to help us, protect us, to speak for us so that positive changes can be made. To provide the adequate maternity and paternity leave that other developed nations have around the world. Thank God for my mom support groups that prayed for me and supported me and my husband through this crazy season of motherhood.
(wix pic)
Additional Support
Babycenter app
Comments