Prior to having my own kids, phrases were often said to me with a head shake by parents that I encountered, "Having kids changes everything and you will never (fully) sleep once you have kids." I have found that both of these statements are true for me on so many levels. l have also found something else out, that being a parent can be at times very very daunting and at other times full of intense joy and excitement. During this new season I often find myself questioning and reevaluating everything and viewing life differently. That has left me with a lot of questions and often times feeling displaced or bewildered.
In the early days of parenting I often felt like a fragmented mirror that had exploded and then was incorrectly fused back together like a misconfigured puzzle. Becoming a mom had somehow reformatted and restructured my life and my heart. The things that I used to do I didn't want to do anymore. They weren't bad things. They just weren't right for this new parenting journey, it wasn't the right season or the right time. The pressure of other peoples' expectations and the pandemic added to the intensity and anxiety of being a new parent. As a new parent of two little ones, fear became my constant companion unbeknown to me.
What made a difference? Simply put, Jesus made all the difference.
Over a year spent with the Lord helped me find a path through my wilderness of fear and unrealistic expectations. It wasn't complete solitude exactly but it was close enough. I spent a lot of time alone with God and my children. During this time God patiently guided me, helping me to let go of unrealistic expectations of myself and others and release my fears gradually to Him. Through this solitary process there were many days I felt intense sorrow, frustration, and pain. You see, I like being alone at times, but I also enjoy being around people too. I thrive when I work in community with others. I love helping and working with people, inspiring and motivating them, and spending time with them--- creating, learning, sharing, and listening. In this new season God was moving me in a different direction, so many doors of opportunity that were once opened to me, were now closed to me and the rawness of that was devastating to me. During my time alone with God, He slowly forged a new path. By giving time to Him daily, God created space and room for me to thrive in my new season. God used that time to gradually strengthen me, mend my heart, restructure my life, and put me back together. I'm still a work in progress but I'm better than I was before. He showed me a better path forward than I could ever have imagine on my own.
In a lot of ways I am the same crazy lovable girl that I have always been. But I feel like a new enhanced version of myself. I am constantly learning how to apply the principles of cultivating God's presence in my life. This process of being in God's presence is an intentional act of worship. I am also learning how and when to recognize my need for more God moments. Which seems easy, like a no brainer at times, but for a people pleasing maniac like me it isn't always easy to recognize. I haven't mastered it yet, but I am better able to recognize my need for grace and alone time with God, better than before. Previously I would have just keep going full steam ahead without stopping at all, until exhaustion. In this current season I am enjoying the process of slowing down and taking the time throughout my day to reconnect with God, and not putting it off for another time. I have found for myself that in Him there is always fullness of joy, and there is always hope and peace when you follow Him. In Christ there is no fear. This process of seeking God's peace and presence continually doesn't guarantee perfection, but it does yield great results.
How can you cultivate His continual presence in your life?
Constantly singing or humming praises as you go about your day.
Listening to worship and praise music and let it refresh your spirit. (See music link at the bottom.)
Whisper or write prayers and affirmations to God throughout the day.
Practicing the art of gratitude. (Mentally, verbally, or written in a digital or nondigital gratitude journal.)
Share your faith with others in your faith or work community as God leads.
Acknowledge and look for God's goodness and grace everywhere.
Pray wherever you go.
Pray with your family in the mornings, evenings, during car rides, or at meal times.
When you hear a church bell, a siren, or hear someone else's cellphone ring think of it as a call to prayer.
Meditate on a scripture each day.
Be on the lookout for prayer opportunities or faith opportunities to connect others with God.
These tips can help you to stay connected with God. They can also help you to see past the hurt, the pain, the sorrow and disappointments of this world so that you can find your way to Him. These tips can help you gain and recapture His joy and peace for yourself again and again. As you stay connected you will discover that God is a master gardener and a great shepherd. When you follow Him it doesn't mean your troubles dissipates it just means that He is walking with you and that you are never alone. Helping you to walk above the waters of your troubles and to avoid letting your troubles sweep you away. When you are in God's presence He is walking with you, guiding you along and forging a path for you out of your wilderness so you can experience true joy.
May you find joy and peace as you stay firmly connected to Him during this season.
Wilderness photo courtesy of Wix pics.
Beach Scence taken by Frank courtesy of Wix pics
Music Link:
Credits
The Spirit-Led Heart by Suzanne Eller
Becoming a Woman Who Listens to God by Sharon Jaynes
Kingdom Woman by Tony Evans
Practicing His Presence by Brother Lawerence and Frank Baubach.
Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas
To Know Him by Gloria Copeland
Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers
From the desk of Esther Kamoche Robinson 3.26.23
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